What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist

What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce?
Iceberg.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.