Lawyers aren't typically funny--unless
by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:
1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
3. Q: What
happened then? A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?
4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
5. The youngest son, the
20-year-old, how old is he?
6. Were you alone or by yourself?
7. How long have you been a French Canadian?
8.
Do you have children or anything of that kind?
9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
that picture? A: That's me. Q: Were you present when that
picture was taken?
10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
11. Q: Now,
Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8. Q: Apparently, then, the date of
conception was August 8? A: Yes Q:
What were you doing at the time?
13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
14.
So you were gone until you returned?
15. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None
Q: Were there girls?
16. You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like, but can you
describe it?
17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
18. Q: Have you
lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet.
19. A Texas attorney, realizing
he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the
next question."
20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington
at the Rose Chapel? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, he was sitting
on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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