Laura's Laughter Pages




Home
These Will Make You Think
Actual Instruction Labels
Random Thoughts
Escape From Cleveland
Dog Cross-Breeds
Murphy's Laws
One Liners
Travel Terms Deciphered
Theme Park
Church Bulletin Bloopers
Bruce the Answer Man on Health
Medical Definitions
Actual Hospital Charts
Actual Travel Agents' Tales
For the Office
8 Simple Rules
Fun at Walmart!
Lawyer Goofs and Gaffes
Signs of the Times
Kidney Stoned
Bumper Snickers
Household Hints
Headlines
Teen-Ready House Test
Miscellaneous Giggles!
LAUGHTER LINKS
Lawyer Goofs and Gaffes

Lawyers aren't typically funny--unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?
    A:  He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because
you can identify me.'
    Q: Did he kill you?

4.  Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have children or anything of that kind?

9.  Q:  I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
     A:  That's me.
     Q:  Were you present when that picture was taken?

10.  Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11. Q:  Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
      A:  By death.
      Q:  And by whose death was it terminated?

12.  Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
       A:  I'll be three months on November 8.
       Q:  Apparently, then, the date of conception was
August 8?
       A: Yes
       Q:  What were you doing at the time?

13.  Q:  Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
       A:  I used to be.
       Q:  How many times have you committed suicide?

14.  So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q:  She had three children, right?
      A:  Yes.
      Q:  How many were boys?
      A:  None
      Q:  Were there girls?

16.  You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17.  Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
       A: Yes
      Q:  And these stairs, did they go up also?

18.  Q:  Have you lived in this town all your life?
       A:  Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of
unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

20.  Q:  Do you recall approximately the time that you
examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
      A:  It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
      Q:  And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
      A:  No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Signs of the Times

Please visit my other sites: