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Murphy's Laws

Ain't these the truth!

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Leakproof Seals -- will.

Self Starters -- will not.

Interchangeable Parts -- won't.

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit.

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

You will always find something in the last place you look.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away.

The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong. But that's the way to bet.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.

The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

No matter how long you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale cheaper.

The other line always moves faster.

Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.

A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10-cent fuse by blowing first.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center.

The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.

Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.

In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.

One Liners

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