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I
can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Lack of planning
on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
This is not Burger King.
You don't get it your way.
You take it my way,
Or you don't get
the damn thing.
An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
When in doubt, mumble.
When in trouble, delegate.
Someday you'll look back on all this and plow into a
parked car.
Which way did they go?
How fast were they going?
How many of them were there?
I must find
them!
I am their LEADER!
I don't have an attitude problem.
You have a perception problem.
If you don't
have time
to do it right,
How will you find time
to do it over?
On the keyboard of life,
always keep
one finger on the escape key.
CLICK HERE for more motivation (NOT!) from Despair, Inc.!
What they say vs. what they mean (a guide to help-wanted ads)
"COMPETITIVE
SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time
to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the
real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first
day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone
in the office can boss you around.
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING
CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"REQUIRES
TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION
SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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